GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL

On December 20th, I did it.  I hit the scale & hit my GOAL!  149.0!  My goal was actually 150, so I was quite pleased.  I was a bit bummed that my normal leader was not there, but the visiting leader was SO gracious & wonderful & made me feel very special!  I have lost 92.4 pounds in 9 months & am so pleased that I hit my goal as a Christmas present to myself!  I'm putting some updated progress pics on here.

I do have to admit that I may want to lose a bit more.  I'm in a healthy weight range now & one that I believe I can maintain with some ease, so anymore lost would be purely vanity.  However, I just feel that there is a bit more on my thighs that need to come off.  Can't decide, but for now, I'm gonna happily maintain around 150. 

A Bit of Background on this "Life Change..."

So I've been saying that my journey started on 3/29/10.  I guess I should clarify that it started AGAIN on 3/29/10.  For most of my adult life, I've been on this journey.  I have not been successful & everytime I tried to lose weight, I ended up even fatter.  I ballooned up to 241.4 pounds on 3/29/10.  That was a huge slap in the face for me to see on the scales.  I wasn't just overweight.  I was obese.  Horrifying.  You see, when I started diets, I would succeed for about 2 days.  Then I would quit.  Once I quit, I would tell myself that I would start again on Monday.  So, I had to indulge in everything bad & horrible before Monday.  Then the cycle would repeat.  Can you see why I gained weight with every diet? 

I still don't really have an answer for why this time around has been different.  Perhaps it's because I joined Weight Watchers.  I think I do really well when I have to step on the scale in front of someone.  I don't like the idea of having someone else see my weight & it humbles me.  It made me push myself.  When I first "re-Started" this journey in March, I had a few people try to put me down.  They pointed out my fatty areas & made negative comments about my body shape.  I was compared to thinner people, but this did not discourage me.  It fueled me.  (I would NEVER do this to another person as it is cruel & often causes people to quit, binge, etc.)  Here I am 90 pounds lighter & I was asked by a trainer if I would be interested in sharing my story.  Wow!  That was so flattering & I was super excited.  Of course I would love to share if someone would find an ounce of it helpful.  I have been reading blogs over the past 9 months & find huge encouragement in hearing other people's journeys.  However, this highlight was quickly dashed by someone who made comments to suggest that my journey was easy for me.  That perhaps I did this in an almost unhealthy fashion because I was hungry & would talk myself out of eating.  That perhaps I didn't always eat healthy foods.  There was some truth in that, but I do not feel that I was doing anything unhealthy.  I was often hungry because I wouldn't choose the most filling foods.  I ate the amount of points I was allotted, but if I ate foods that were full of carbs, I would be hungry later.  I am making much better choices now, though this was not acknowledged.

My advice to anyone on this journey, be supportive of everyone's journey.  Know that we all have a different way to do things, but that we are sharing an ultimate goal to be healthy.  I took a spin class on Friday - fabulous.  I ran 2 miles today in 18 minutes - fabulous!  I'm enjoying my health much more now.  I didn't even feel sore after either of those activities.  I now weigh almost 150 pounds which is my goal weight.  I feel great & I am trying desperately to be positive and not let others make comments that derail me from my goal.  I just need to state that this was NOT easy.  Though I've done it in a relatively short time (90 pounds in 9 months), that does not equal easy.  I wanted to quit.  I wanted to just have another slice of pizza.  I didn't wanna work out before bed.  I just wanted to snuggle under the covers & watch TV.  I had to talk myself into these habits.  They did not form overnight.  Half way through the journey, I wanted to take a break.  It was tough.  I know now that there isn't really a break.  This is my new life.  I can have what I refer to as "cheat" days, but I will forever be on this healthy trek.  It's worth it & I'm worth it.

Find a way, stick with it, and be a better version of you.  You are worth it.  I spent $40/month on Weight Watchers during a time when my husband was unemployed.  There was a lot of guilt over spending the money, but my husband was my biggest cheerleader.  He never griped about the money.  I had to learn to put myself first at times.  Exercising was something that I had to do.  I felt great afterward.  Do this for yourself.  Love yourself & do great things for you & that will make you a better person overall!

Missing in Action?

I'm still here & still doing everything I can to get the rest of this weight off!  I am now down 85.6 pounds with only 5.6 more to go until I hit my goal!  I can't believe I got through Thanksgiving & my sister-in-law's wedding without a gain.  I didn't get the chance to workout for several days & that was tough, but I think my body appreciated the rest for a change!  I walked into Weight Watcher's on Monday & learned that they are completely revamping the entire program.  What?  I always struggle with change initially, but typically come around.  I think I will keep doing things the same way until I hit my goal & then I will give the new plan a try.  I get more points per day & it's hard to imagine losing weight by eating more.  I just can't wrap my head around it, but they say it works & they have been testing it for 3 years.  We shall see, but I'm digging my heels in the carpet & resisting for now.  Seriously?  I'm so close to my goal.  This may actually be fun to learn once I hit the maintenance part of the weight loss journey, but I am finishing what I started first! 

This is a pic of me & Gracie at the wedding.  Down 85.6 pounds!  Yeah Baby!!!

Getting this Figured Out

One thing I've noticed lately is that everyone has advice to give me.  I do like positive feedback & advice WHEN I ASK for it, but what frustrates me is when I'm talking about my exercise program & someone tells me what would work better.  Of if I'm talking about my food intake, I hear what would be a better choice.  I totally understand people wanting to provide helpful information, but I am totally figuring this thing out.  I'm now down 82 pounds (yea!) and only have 9.4 more pounds to lose until I hit my goal.  I'm excited as I'm nearing the end of this first part & I'm doing it in a healthy way.  My husband is going to insulate our garage & we are going to convert it into a gym.  He's even letting me get cable in the garage!  Hey, it's still cheaper than a monthly gym membership & I can remove the box anytime with no contract!!!  Running on a treadmill while listening to my MP3 player and staring at a wall is BORING.  I find myself dreading workouts because it's torture to stare at the wall.  I'm also finding the frigid temps challenging because my garage is so daggone cold that I can't stand going in there to workout.  Can't wait until we get the garage completed & I have my own personal gym.  Advice to everyone, give advice when it's requested, but don't hand it out if it's not.  It just makes me second guess what I'm doing & different things work for different people.  If I'm losing steadily in a healthy way, praise me & leave it alone!    I take in the info I learn from my Weight Watcher's group & follow the program as it's designed...  Anyhoo, I lost 1.6 pounds this week.  I won't make weigh-in next week because Ronnie has a basketball game, so I'll check in after Thanksgiving!

Another Weigh-In

Another Monday & another weigh-in!  Successful & very exciting for me!  I lost 2.8 pounds & am now down 80.4 pounds!  I have 11 total pounds to go until goal & only 6 pounds more until I hit a "healthy" weight range!!!  So many thoughts have been running through my head.  At the beginning of this process, I had some negativity from a couple of people.  I could have let that get to me & cause me to quit.  I did let it fester inside of me & I used it to motivate me.  I do not ever want to be one of those people who has so much jealousy inside that I have to lash out & make fun of someone who is overweight.  I do think jealousy was what brought about the negative comments.  My advice to others in this type of situation is to use the negativity in a positive way.  When I'm upset or am getting negativity from others, I hop on the treadmill & run it off.  I am almost to the end of part one of this journey.  Eleven more pounds until I hit maintenance!  I will get 4 points back per day & that will be wonderful!  I do admit that I am more hungry lately.  I need to continue making good food choices & keep up my activity.  Signing off for now as I'm so tired.  The time change seems to have affected me which is odd because it's only an hour, but I have just been so tired this week & need to get some extra sleep!

Weigh-In

I had a fabulous weigh-on on Monday!  I am down 2.6 more pounds for a total of 77.6 lost & 13.8 more to go until goal!  That high on Monday has worn off though, unfortunately.  At this lower weight, I've noticed my body is extremely sensitive to extra calories.  I've had no time to workout this week, and when I say that, I truly mean it.  I will find time in a day when I can & rarely miss, but last night I didn't get home until after 9pm from a training & didn't feel well, so I went straight to bed.  I've put back on 2 pounds since Monday & it's only been 2 days.  Dang.  I'm determined to get this off & more before Monday.  Gotta kick it into high gear.  Losing a pound a week is progress & is good, but it will take me 4 months to lose the weight at this rate, so here I am confessing that I am going to kick it up & lose the weight! 

Weight Loss Ticker

http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wQT3zz2/

Not sure if this will work.  It's my weight loss ticker.  I cannot figure out how to make it go to the top of my page.  Frustrated blogger!

75 Pounds Lost today!

I did it!  I received my last award from Weight Watchers before I reach my goal weight.  I'm so excited to hit 75 pounds, but to be honest, my progress has slowed tremendously.  I am losing one pound every week.  A loss is a loss is a loss, but at this rate, I will have 16 more weeks to go until I hit my goal.  That's 4 months!  I just really need to step up my eating habits.  Ron gets paid on Friday and we are going to hit up Sam's Club so I can get some healthy foods that they have prepared & frozen.  My workouts are very steady.  I'm running 2 miles a day and alternating the eliptical or Jillian Shred for the other 20 minutes.  Basically, I workout 40 minutes a day with one or 2 days of rest in the week.  Bottom line is that I'm losing my bottom line & that's the most I can hope for.  I have not had a gain yet, and am praying that trend continues.  To be continued...

More Progress Pictures

Wanted to post a few more progress pictures.  As I get closer to my goal, I'm finding my patience to be wearing thin & my progress to be much, much slower.  I'm also getting far fewer points, so I need to really crack down on my eating & choose healthier options for myself.  That will increase my amount of food allotment daily if I make better choices.  Gotta get down 16.4 more pounds.  SO close!!!

Still Kicking & closing in on the finish line!

Lost another pound this week for a total of 74! I so wanted to hit 75, but a loss is a loss & still haven't hit a gain yet! If I could get through this without a gain, I would just be so excited, but my leader still continues to worry that I will fall apart. I LOVE my meetings each week & get so excited to go & be a part of a group of people with the same goals! I don't feel that I NEED the group as much as I simply enjoy everyone & the topics, etc. It's inspiring to hear of others losing & seeing successes in the group! Yesterday, someone who is a lifetime member returned to her goal weight. Awesome success! I cannot wait for that day to be mine & it will soon. I have 17.4 pounds to go. Just wanted to check in with myself on the blog since I am my only reader! LOL. Happy Tuesday everyone!

Is that a goiter on his face?

My husband had a tumor removed from the inside of his mouth. The surgery went MUCH better than expected. The 2nd day he awoke, I looked at him & then had to look again! His face was so swollen that I asked him if he had a goiter growing off his face. Not really the thing he wanted to hear. Yesterday he woke up & the swelling had gone down significantly! He even coached Ronnie's games yesterday & made it to church despite all of the pain he was experiencing. Way to go!

On to my week with weight loss. I've been very snacky lately & I know it's because I'm not choosing the right filling foods to keep me from getting hungry. When I lose weight, I get less ponits to consume & it's really getting hard to stay full. This is where eating right really becomes important. I'm trying to make better choices or it really becomes a willpower thing & that's how I became fat to begin with. I think I'll have another loss today on the scales, but by the end of the day, my body seems to put on a couple of pounds. Guess we shall see...

I may not be featured in a magazine anytime soon...

Well, at my weigh-in on Monday, I was told by the leader that he is concerned for me. He said he is pleased with my progress (70 pounds!), but the fact that I've done this without gaining is concerning to him. He feels that I will be devastated WHEN I finally have a gain & that it's impossible to get through this without doing so. I have a friend who says my "story" will be more inspiring & relatable to others if I have a gain. I get this. I really do. But, I am dedicated to the plan, am exercising as I should, and following a healthy diet. If the plan works, then why the need to worry about me? If I do gain (and I probably will at some point) I will be sad, but it will not cause me to quit. I was also told that I'm losing at a rate that is higher than average, and if I want to submit my story to a Weight Watcher's magazine, they cannot publish it unless I lose less than 2 pounds per week. That struck me as funny because I had no intention of submitting my story to a magazine, but now I'm intrigued about it...

Honestly, I'm doing the plan as it's designed to be. I guess I'm fortunate that my body responds well to healthy eating & exercise. I am definitely losing much slower than at the beginning. I do think my weekly average will be within their guidelines by the time I hit my goal. It's just hard to hear the negative comments when I'm trying so hard to be so good. Anyhoo, I have to admit that I've been feeling more hunger & cravings for snacks lately & I need to make sure my food choices are healthier. Too many snacks are getting in my way!

My husband has surgery tomorrow to remove a tumor they found in his jaw. He has to have part of his jaw removed & it is supposed to be a really painful recovery. Just praying all goes well for him & trying to keep my stress levels under control. Happy Thursday to you all!

More Before & During Pics - Not for the Weak to See

The absolute worst one below - I'm in the purple.

Suck in the gut - seriously!

I loved hiding my fat with a child or 2

The top picture was taken at my parent's house on October 3, 2010. I was weighed last night & am down 70 pounds exactly! Only 21 more pounds until I hit my goal! I'm including some before pics - scary is probably an understatement. For some reason, I try to cut & paste my narrative to go above my pics, but the stupid blogger isn't working right. Annoying!

The sad part about these before pics is, they were not taken at my highest weight. I had to ask my sister for pictures because I had none, zero, zilch of myself. I guess when you don't like how you look, camera avoidance becomes a gift. So, look only if you have a strong stomach because they may make you sick...

29 Minutes!

That was first my time doing a 5K that I RAN in today. Yes - I ran (jogged) the entire way! And it wasn't that much torture. The last mile or so was tough, but I made it & was so pleased that I did it in under 30 minutes. What a shocker for me! I'm down another pound & almost hitting the 70 pound mark for weight lost! I'm SOOOO close to my goal. Sadly, my pictures taken when I was running the 5K are unflattering & I see more weight that still needs to come off. However, I never could have done this at my starting weight. I'm so proud of myself for doing something I have never done before!

I Bet on it & I lost...

I have had a great success for the past 6 months. I've managed to lose weight and exercise without looking back. At my meeting on Monday, I talked to my leader about how I cannot eat pizza because I cannot stop eating as long as there is any around. It's a trigger food that I cannot have around me or I binge eat. My leader at Weight Watchers challenged me to go one week without pizza & if my family wanted it, I was supposed to suggest that they go out to eat & I stay home & relish in time to myself. Well, my day really turned sour & it was so stressful that I couldn't get a healthy dinner in. Tiffy made pizza for the family & I sat there & ate everyone's left overs. It's truly the first time I've stress eaten since I started on Weight Watchers. But, I made a bet that I could go one week without eating any pizza & I made it less than one day. So, I am getting back on the wagon tonight & swearing off pizza again! I felt ashamed that I allowed stress to put me back into old habits. I know that I'm human & can slip up, but now I will have to work twice as hard to get the weight off this week & it really isn't worth the extra work. I hate you pizza. I truly do! Tomorrow is a new day & I will start fresh!

Down 65 pounds!

Weighed in on Monday & I'm officially down 65 pounds! Super excited about that. The smaller I get, the harder I'm finding that it is to lose weight. I've stepped up my workouts to twice daily (almost 7x's week). I'm now running 2 miles at a time & am power walking the last mile. The 5K is in 2 weeks & I just now bumped up to 2 miles. I do think I will run the entire way, but I may puke a bit after it's all done. Sounds like a grand ol time, doesn't it?

A Couple More Pics

Top is a current pic and bottom is a previous pic...

Going and going and going...

Still here & still going. Lost another 3 pounds and am now down 65 pounds exactly! I'm starting to like my body. Shock of all shock, I know, but I'm getting comfortable in my own skin. Speaking of skin, there is a little more of it than I would prefer, but I'm hoping that when I can start lifting weights, it will tighten up. Ron starts his job in 2 weeks & his first paycheck comes in 6 weeks. Dying to get back to "normal" financially, if we ever can. I'm only 26.2 pounds away from my goal weight though I secretly want to lose 9 additional pounds so I can hit the 100 pound mark! Isn't that totally insane? So far, I've done this entire process without gaining a single pound. I desperately want to get to goal without any gain, but I do realize that I can't be a total control freak & have to accept that a gain could happen. Either way, the important thing is that I'm getting back to a healthier me.

Gotta get there - Then what?

So I just typed up a long post & then it deleted somehow. UGH! Not a fan of repeating myself. I'm down 59.8 pounds now. So close to 60, but not quite. Frustrating, but exciting at the same time! This journey has happened so quickly for me (at least it seems to have flown by). I started on this trek on 3/29/10. Here I am about 5 months later, and I've lost almost 60 pounds. How crazy to think that I'm not the fat girl in the room anymore. I feel so good! My right knee still hurts as much as it did before, so I do think I'm probably getting arthritis (getting older sucks!) But my hands don't go numb at night like they used to & I do think there is something about the weight that made that happen. Hmm - fat wrists? That just seems odd but whatever!

I mentioned to my WW leader that my biggest fear through this entire process is what happens when I actually get to my goal. I am very competitive & I work very hard to reach a goal. Once I'm there, I fear that I will quit or slide back to my old habits. My parents reinforce that it will be hard to keep it off & that my progress will be slower now that I'm smaller. These things may be typical, but why the need to throw that in my face when I already am struggling? I have had zero negativity from anyone else throughout this entire process. In fact, I have been getting such wonderful praise & feedback that it makes me wanna keep going.

Below are pics taken to show my further weight loss. (About 10 pounds down from the last pics). I personally can't see a difference from the pics & probably should have warn the same outfit. Who thinks of that stuff beforehand though? Gracie posed in the pics with me & I was laughing when I published them because I had no idea she was posing with me...

Run Like the Wind!

The heat finally broke - slightly - so I decided to do my walk/jog around the neighborhood instead of inside. I did my light jog & tried to convince myself I was an actual runner. Yep. I managed to run an entire mile without stopping! How totally proud I was! In my entire life, I'm sure I've never made it a mile without stopping. Ever. It was truly an Ah Ha moment where I discovered that I could do things with a bit of determination. I am excited to go out & try to do it again. My goal is to eventually be able to run 3 miles without stopping. There is a 5K coming up in October. That totals 3.1 miles. I want to be able to jog the entire way. There is no prize, but it's my new goal that I'm setting for myself. My weight continues to go down. I lost 2.8 more pounds in the past week! That is music to my ears!!!!! Last night I got on the elipitcal for 30 minutes. I've never done that for more than 15 minutes, so I set 2 new records for myself yesterday. I'm a bit sore today, but I feel so awesome!

Last night, I got out a bunch of clothes in my closet that I had in the "skinny" pile. I fit into every pair of pants & some were actually too big! I can't wait for fall so I can show off my new clothes. Many still had tags on them, but I've owned for several years. Very cool. I tried on my "fat" jeans for the first time. They were huge, but not as huge as I expected them to be. I need to make a trip to Goodwill & clean out my closet! I'm really liking the new me & I'm excited to see the end in sight for the weight loss. Of course, that isn't an end to my weight struggles, but once I hit goal, it becomes a new goal of maintenance. I pray that's easier for me than the losing part. So far, this has been the easiest time I've had losing weight. Yippee!

I'm Back in the Saddle AGAIN!

I find that I have an obsessive personality! When I want something, I go all in. I'm so tired of being the fat girl in the room - the least important person around - just a feeling I have sometimes. I went on vacation & managed to lose 2.8 pounds & now I really feel a 2nd wind coming! I've got some personal turmoil that I need to work through, so I'm throwing even more attention on my health & well-being. It's one little thing that I have control of right now. My running is getting better, though I can't run a mile yet without stopping to walk. Still trying, but this daggone heat is killing me. I'm SO close to my goal weight & finally met with my Weight Watcher's leader to set it. I'm down 55.6 pounds with only 35.8 more to go. Crazy that I'm way more than half way there & I just started on 3/29. Gotta love seeing the successes of hard work! Off to get some work done & maybe fit in a little Jillian too. I'm feeling a bit sore this week because I took a week off. Gotta get back at it!

Taking it Every Other Week at a Time...

Well, the past 4 weeks haven't been as successful for my weight loss. Still losing & keeping on track, but for different reasons, we have only had meetings every other week. It seems that I like to take a vacation from WW when there is not a meeting. At least I didn't gain, but my progress has slowed majorly. I lost 2.8 pounds over the past 2 weeks. Happy with the loss & glad I didn't gain, but I was enjoying some better & faster weight loss when I had weekly meetings. I'm going on vacation next Saturday, so I will miss yet another meeting. My desire is to stay on track through my vacation & hit a good weight loss at my next meeting. I'm just anxious to get skinny - what can I say? I went to Fashion Bug today to try on some clothes & was a bit upset at my reflection in the mirror. I'm not where I need to be & need to get a little bit of patience. It's a lifetime change & won't happen overnight... Anyhoo, at least I'm still losing! Can I get a woot woot???!!!

5-0

I hit it! The big 5-0! I lost 50 pounds. 5.0. 50. Can't believe it! I actually had to fight for my medal. The Weight Watcher's person wrote down my incorrect starting weight on the record sheet, but my book states differently. I had to make sure they had my correct info & yep! It was indeed 50 pounds! Trudging along to my goal & seeing a finish line in sight! I have 41.4 pounds left until I reach my goal. That is so close & so attainable! I cannot wait to reach the finish line!!!!! Woot woot!!!

Mid-way pictures

I'm midway to my goal. I've lost 48.2 lbs & have 45 more to go until I'm where I want to stay! I'm posting pics of where I am now. I wish I would have taken pictures during this process because I still see a chubby girl & yet I feel so much skinnier. It would have helped me mentally if I had something to reflect & compare, but all I have is a candid shot. Boy, camera avoidence is something I am great at!!!

"One" derland

I've done it! I've hit the 40 pound mark & entered back into "One" derland. It's a happy day for me! I have my official weigh-in tonight, but the scale at home is consistently 1 pound heavier than the Weight Watcher's scale, so I'm pretty psyched! I'm doing the Jillian 30 day shred and walking when I can stand it. The deer flies and the extreme heat really bother me right now. I bought an eliptical from a neighbor & have started working out on that every night. It is a killer workout & so far, I can only manage 15 minutes before I'm exhausted. I'm hoping to soon up that to 30, but dang. It kills me! UGH! Just wanted to drop in to update my status. Haven't decided if I will keep blogging. It seemed to help me when I started, but now I find myself too busy with life to keep up with this blog. :)

I'm singing a song today

I've had a bad day...

I have to admit that I have not been too tempted to eat badly. I have been consistent & had consistent weight loss. So, why did I suggest getting Little Caesar's pizza for Ronnie & his buddies today? I ate 2 pieces & felt okay about that. I looked up the nutritional information & each piece was 6 points. I could sacrifice 12 points to do this. But I kept thinking about the dang pizza. I could be strong - nope. I cleaned off the table & Gracie hardly touched her piece. So I ate it. Yep. It was good. I feel sick now & have so much regret. I hope someday that I can be normal & not worry so much about the calories, but I'm definitely not there. Tomorrow is weigh in day. Ugh. I'm off to walk 3 miles today & do my Jillian shred tonight. Hope I can make up the indulgence...

I've got this, right?

I'm starting to feel stressors in my life for many different reasons. I'm finding that I have a lot of drama in my life that I really don't want to be involved in. I really want to focus on my family, my health, and my upcoming move, but things keep cropping up. I felt really bad yesterday. First, I went to MCL for a Mother-Daughter banquet with my Mother-in-Law. I was very proud of my choices at a buffet! I chose Tilapia with strawberries. But when I got home, I felt the urge to eat something bad. I had been in a bit of a frustrated mood for the past 2 days with outside stressors that were weighing on me. I have decided to let those things go & give it to God. I don't need to fret about things I cannot control & things I cannot change. Allowing those things to bother me was a contributor to my weight gain. I did eat some Ritz crackers with cheese. I felt gross afterwards. They were not counted into my daily points & of all things, the stupid crackers were a bit stale. Seriously? Next time I cheat, I want some fresh junk. I think I've got this figured out? Pleased so far! I am working to let other people's drama stay just that - their drama. I'm gonna focus on the family & on me & make better choices. Can't let sress allow me to lose control. Jillian - kick my butt some more. Gotta get shredded!

I hit my GOAL!

I lost only 2.6 pounds this week, but it put me over my goal weight for the week! I have lost 10% of my starting body weight & am now at 26.4 pounds lost! I've been doing the Jillian 30 day shred & it's working! She's getting me fit & phat! Still stressing out about moving in 3 weeks and trying to pack while still trying to get myself fit, working full time, raising kids & spending time with my husband. I keep counting down the days until I'm moved & settled & ready to get rid of a bit of stress!

Jillian - you are my hero!

Yep. I totally recommend this DVD. She promises I will be totally hot in 30 days. Yeah right! But, I'm hurting, sweating, & feeling the burn. She pushed me & I didn't want her to "yell" at me through the TV, so I did what she said. Ouch!

I Need to Find that Light...

Not sure why I am in a funk lately. I haven't cheated on my diet & am consistent with exercise. I just caught an unflattering glimpse of myself in the mirror today, coupled with not having lost any weight since my weigh in on Monday. I feel yucky! I keep trudging along, but weight loss is a slow thing & I tend to be in a hurry to get there. With packing to move, preparing for the world's largest garage sale, and trying to get healthy, there just isn't enough time in my day. Ron is still looking for a job & I'm not quite sure how stable my job is right now. Gosh, could I add anymore stressors to my life right now? I probably shouldn't jinx myself by saying that...

Overwhelmed???

Well, as if working on a weight loss wasn't enough, we are now moving! I have mixed feelings about the move because Ron is still unemployed, and this will be a financial strain on us until he finds a job. But, I'm so excited to get settled in our house with the fenced in yard. Gracie will be able to safely play outside & Skipper will be in heaven! We will have so much more room outside. I've been purging our things & it's a great feeling to downsize. I had my weekly weigh-in last night & lost another 3.6 lbs. I'm down 23.8 pounds. My 10% goal is 24 lbs, so I hope to reach that next week! I have gone down one clothing size, but I don't seem to have any clothes in my closet that fit. I don't want to go out & buy much, so people will have to get over the fact that I keep wearing clothes that are too big, or the same pair of pants that actually fit. I will buy plenty of clothes when I reach my goal. Until then, I think it's not a good use of my money!

Anyone wanna come help me pack???

3 Miles ... Times 2?

Today I walked my usual 3 miles. I walked with a friend & didn't feel that I was really pushing myself. Is it possible that I'm getting in better shape & need to pick up the pace? I told my husband when I got home that I didn't feel tired & that I like to exercise until exhaustion. That's when I really feel the burn. So, after a couple of hours, I headed back out & walked 3 more miles. I walked at speeds that were much faster than I thought capable - but no jogging yet for this girl. I can't seem to run as I cannot catch my breath. I keep hoping to lose another 10 pounds before Mother's Day so when I go home, my family will notice my progress. Right now it's difficult to see, but I'm only 20 pounds from another very big goal. Better get back to tracking my food so I can get this weight off!

Is a Heart Arythmia REALLY that bad???

I entered my weight info into the Weight Watcher's website. Guess what? It told me I was losing too fast & I could end up with a heart arythmia. I remember years ago when I lost a lot of weight. People told me they were worried about me, and all I could do was smile. I guess it's the risk I'll take because I'm thrilled to announce that I lost over 5 lbs this past week for a total of 20 lbs! I think Weight Watcher's is alarmed because if I lose this quickly, I will be at my goal & they won't be able to charge me for my meetings. Seems suspicious? Whatever! I dread the plateau, and I know it's coming, but I am relishing in this moment today. Woot Woot! Way to go Becky with your 8 lb weight lost! You rock!

Rain, Rain, Go AWAY!

I haven't been able to do my 3 mile walks lately. I'm not one who likes to walk in the frigid rain. Brr! I've been riding my exercise bike the past few days & am ready for another weekly weigh in. Hoping for happy news and so far, my scale is smiling on me! Wish I could go in, strip naked, and weigh that way, but I may scare off a few of the other people there! According to my scale at home, I've lost 20 pounds! This is my first personal goal. My next goal is to get below 200 lbs. Can't wait to see that happen, and it's much closer than it was a month ago!!! I will post my weigh in amount after I get weighed this evening...

Badonkadonk

Yep. I have a giant badonkadonk. I'm aware. I don't need reminders of this constantly. I exercise and I diet & it's still big. Someday it won't be, but I don't need to be told or have it pointed out to others that it's a tad bit large. I'm hitting a bit of a plateau. I plan to continue on this journey, but I dreaded the dang plateau. My body is screaching to a halt & I'm trying to get it going. I haven't cheated on my diet & my exercise is getting more frequent & increasing in intensity. I will not quit, but UGH. I need to keep going down, down, down. Think small!

Feeling fat today

Not sure why, but I'm feeling fat today. I didn't walk today, so I figure that it's all in my head. I'm getting ready to work out on the Wii to the Biggest Loser game. It seriously kicks my butt. My diet has been good today. I'm way under my points, so I will be able to have a decent dinner. My stress levels are high because my children have been terribly whiny today. I am not going to stress eat. Just gonna stress workout. I guess that's a better alternative! So, we shall see how successful my workout can be when my kids are both home. Should be interesting to see if they interrupt me 50 times. Here goes nothing! By the way - A certain someone started her Weight Watchers program yesterday. She's doing awesome! Since she's my only reader, if she reads this - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! You are doing great!!!!!

Learning to love me

I haven't been my biggest fan. In fact, I'm my worst critic most of the time. I used to look at others who are thin & envy them & want to be them. Now I am starting to feel differently. I don't want to be them, but I want to be a thinner version of me. I want to love myself and not be disgusted with myself when I look in the mirror. The pounds are melting away with a lot of perseverance and hard work. It's only been a month, but I already feel different. I'm excited to see what the future holds for me as I walk through this journey. I know that I will always struggle with my weight. Even when I reach my goal, I will continue with my journey for the rest of my life. That's why it's important to make this a lifestyle change and not a diet. I don't feel deprived. I do miss the fatty, fried foods. I'm trying to find other ways to reward myself when I do well. But, dang. I want to eat an entire plate of potato skins. Doesn't that sound so yummy? Oh well. Maybe when I reach my first goal of 42 pounds, I will reward myself with that! But for now, I will settle with my low fat foods and find other ways to reward myself...

Still going...

Week three weigh -in at Weight Watcher's brought me to my 5% goal! I am so motivated right now. I really enjoy and really need to go to the meetings weekly. I lost 3.2 more pounds this week for a total of 14.8 lbs. Darn it - I was so close to the 15 pound mark, but that gives me a goal for next week. I walked 3 miles again today. It feels wonderful to be up & about. I played baseball yesterday with my kids and it was great to be out there & not be a "sideline" mom. Ronnie was thrilled that I actually got up & played! I'm watching myself change & become healthier. I will become the princess in the picture on my mantle & my daughter will learn one day that I am that girl.

Our Weight Watcher's instructor talked today about making every day the same & not treating weekends as "special". This is not a diet, but a new way of living. When I do well, I will reward myself. But I will do it with something other than food. I bought new workout clothes yesterday & actually went down a size! That was a great reward. If I feel stressed, instead of reaching for food, I will try to take a walk & work off the stress. It's working and I FEEL GREAT!

Starting on the Journey to a Healthier Me

This is me in an (obviously) candid shot - pushing Gracie on a teeter totter. This is me at my highest weight. I have no posed pictures. Cameras are a thing of avoidance for me. Hopefully not for long!

I said I would never broadcast my weight to anyone. I have had several things trigger me lately to start on the road to a healthier me. It recently started when Gracie saw my wedding picture. She didn't recognize me and said that the girl in the picture was a princess. She could not understand that it as Mommy - a few pounds lighter (101 pounds lighter to be exact). Wow! I don't know how that happened to me. I live in a state of denial & find too much pleasure in fried fatty foods. Recently, I had to start wearing wrist braces at night because my hands are going numb. My knees have the beginning stages of arthritis.



So, now that I have had an awakening, I have decided to change things. My life changed on 3/29/10 when I decided to join Weight Watchers. As of 4/12/10, I have lost 11.6 pounds. I have started walking at least 4 times per week for 3 miles at a time. I really want to be more active and play with my kids. I have been known to sit in a chair while they play on their own. I don't want this to be the memory my children have of me. Ronnie has been the most supportive. He praises me for eating healthy & is trying to do much of the same! I have 2 friends that I met in small group. One friend is on the same point level as me and my other friend is almost at her goal. It's wonderful to have this support! I also have another friend who walks with me several times a week.



This is only the beginning. I plan to make a change. I am hoping to share my weight on this blog, but give me some time and courage to post it publicly. I'm still coming to terms with the numbers on the scale. Life isn't about a number. I want to move more and without pain. I want to embrace life & play with my children. I want to be a happier and better wife. Most of all, I want to love myself again. It's been a long time since I have and it's time for a change. This blog is for me. I don't know that anyone will ever read it, but I want a place to jot down how I'm feeling. I'm eating much healthier, moving & exercising more, and taking things one day at a time. My weigh-ins are on Monday afternoons. I will update my progress regularly.



One thing I do need to add - If I can do this, so can you! So can anyone who has struggled with their weight. My life has consisted of Yo-yo diets. This time WILL be different. Who wants to join me on this journey? We can do it!!!