So I've been saying that my journey started on 3/29/10. I guess I should clarify that it started AGAIN on 3/29/10. For most of my adult life, I've been on this journey. I have not been successful & everytime I tried to lose weight, I ended up even fatter. I ballooned up to 241.4 pounds on 3/29/10. That was a huge slap in the face for me to see on the scales. I wasn't just overweight. I was obese. Horrifying. You see, when I started diets, I would succeed for about 2 days. Then I would quit. Once I quit, I would tell myself that I would start again on Monday. So, I had to indulge in everything bad & horrible before Monday. Then the cycle would repeat. Can you see why I gained weight with every diet?
I still don't really have an answer for why this time around has been different. Perhaps it's because I joined Weight Watchers. I think I do really well when I have to step on the scale in front of someone. I don't like the idea of having someone else see my weight & it humbles me. It made me push myself. When I first "re-Started" this journey in March, I had a few people try to put me down. They pointed out my fatty areas & made negative comments about my body shape. I was compared to thinner people, but this did not discourage me. It fueled me. (I would NEVER do this to another person as it is cruel & often causes people to quit, binge, etc.) Here I am 90 pounds lighter & I was asked by a trainer if I would be interested in sharing my story. Wow! That was so flattering & I was super excited. Of course I would love to share if someone would find an ounce of it helpful. I have been reading blogs over the past 9 months & find huge encouragement in hearing other people's journeys. However, this highlight was quickly dashed by someone who made comments to suggest that my journey was easy for me. That perhaps I did this in an almost unhealthy fashion because I was hungry & would talk myself out of eating. That perhaps I didn't always eat healthy foods. There was some truth in that, but I do not feel that I was doing anything unhealthy. I was often hungry because I wouldn't choose the most filling foods. I ate the amount of points I was allotted, but if I ate foods that were full of carbs, I would be hungry later. I am making much better choices now, though this was not acknowledged.
My advice to anyone on this journey, be supportive of everyone's journey. Know that we all have a different way to do things, but that we are sharing an ultimate goal to be healthy. I took a spin class on Friday - fabulous. I ran 2 miles today in 18 minutes - fabulous! I'm enjoying my health much more now. I didn't even feel sore after either of those activities. I now weigh almost 150 pounds which is my goal weight. I feel great & I am trying desperately to be positive and not let others make comments that derail me from my goal. I just need to state that this was NOT easy. Though I've done it in a relatively short time (90 pounds in 9 months), that does not equal easy. I wanted to quit. I wanted to just have another slice of pizza. I didn't wanna work out before bed. I just wanted to snuggle under the covers & watch TV. I had to talk myself into these habits. They did not form overnight. Half way through the journey, I wanted to take a break. It was tough. I know now that there isn't really a break. This is my new life. I can have what I refer to as "cheat" days, but I will forever be on this healthy trek. It's worth it & I'm worth it.
Find a way, stick with it, and be a better version of you. You are worth it. I spent $40/month on Weight Watchers during a time when my husband was unemployed. There was a lot of guilt over spending the money, but my husband was my biggest cheerleader. He never griped about the money. I had to learn to put myself first at times. Exercising was something that I had to do. I felt great afterward. Do this for yourself. Love yourself & do great things for you & that will make you a better person overall!
